Divorce has an impact on the children no matter their age. Many people are operating under the assumption that adult children won’t be affected when their parents get divorced. This isn’t the case. In fact, it may end up being more of a burden due to the parents in the situation not considering their children’s feelings. Many parents will rely on their adult children to help them through their pending divorce. This can put more of a strain on the children. Just because the child is an adult, doesn’t mean that involving them in the divorce is a good idea.
The children still need time to grieve the loss of having their parents together. It can be a blow that may rattle everything that they thought that they knew about their life. Grief is a process and rushing through it can leave the person feeling shortchanged. Even adult children need to be made aware of the situation in a delicate manner. Telling them together is one of the best ways to show them that their parents are still there for them.
Using adult children as a sounding board for all of the bad things that occurred in the relationship only serves to put them in the middle. Adult children shouldn’t have to play the role of therapist. They may be feeling as though they have to take a side on the issue. This can cause a rift in their relationship with their other parent. Divorce will be hard enough for all of the parties involved. There isn’t any reason to make it more difficult on other people than is absolutely necessary.
Many recently divorced parents will turn to their children in their time of need. They may expect their children to step up to the plate and take the place of their missing spouse. Divorced parents need to realize that they have to be responsible for themselves. The divorce wasn’t the decision of the adult children. This means that they need to learn how to do things for themselves. Taking classes or getting involved in the community may be good ways to meet new people. Even adult children hurt when their parents decide to go their separate ways. Keeping them out of the situation can help to spare their feelings.
Carin Maxey’s blog posts are not legal advice and are meant for informational purposes only. If you require legal advice, please seek a licensed professional in your jurisdiction.