Many couples who face hardship in their relationship will decide to divorce as an easy fix. But, divorce is never easy. For the children involved, it’s especially not easy.
Many kids will understand that Mom and Dad do not get along well with each other and it’s necessary that they go their separate ways. However, even if they still feel love from both mother and father, there’s always going to be that disconnect because they no longer love each other. Children will grow up into adults and still feel the pain, even when they’ve found a happy marriage and a happy life.
The New York Times posted about celebrity divorce lawyer, Laura Wasser, who created a website for an online divorce called “It’s Over Easy.” In the digital age we’re in, it makes sense to have the option to divorce online. After all, couples meet online, weddings are planned online, so why not add divorce to that mix? But is this really going to make it much easier?
No two divorces are ever the same. The way parents interact with their children, with each other, and all the other parties involved will have an effect on how the process will unfold. Some couples are able to act civilly and some are not. Even for those divorces that have the appearance of being easy, children are still going to get hurt. With a broken marriage, children’s understanding of their identity becomes shattered.
It’s common for children to take on the role of protecting their parents’ feelings. They will bottle up their emotions to make their parents feel better. Being so connected to both parents can make a child worry that things out of their control such as their looks, their voice, their mannerisms, are going to remind one parent of the other.
Children face a deep pain of wondering if their parents will stop loving them just as they stopped loving each other. People want to paint over that pain by telling children how they should feel instead of talking about their actual feelings. A casual approach to divorce can be very harmful. We must help everyone understand, especially the children, that it’s okay to hurt and it’s allowed.
Carin Maxey’s blog posts are not legal advice and are meant for informational purposes only. If you require legal advice, please seek a licensed professional in your jurisdiction.